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How do I know if I’m Queer?

The age-old question that has both a complicated and a simple answer!

Added to FAQ, on 2 June, 2016

How do I know if I’m Queer?

Unfortunately, this is one of the most frequently asked questions that has both a straight-forward and a non straight-forward answer. Are you ready?

Straight-forward answer: if you are, you are.

Complicated answer: The questioning stage for any individual is confusing, complicated and, at times, a total head-fuck. Am I? Aren’t I? I think I am, but…, etc. During this time, you’re probably going to be looking for some kind of answer anywhere you can find it – a Buzzfeed quiz, for example.

The truth is, you simply can’t know until you know. For some people, it is simply curiosity or a phase. Others know – and have known – for a long time. Sometimes, it takes a little self-analysis on your own feelings and thoughts to make a conclusion – it’s a journey of ‘self discovery’. Whatever it is, it’s important to remember there’s absolutely no pressure to make a decision at any given time – if it was that simple, we probably wouldn’t have numerous studies, theories and anecdotes about sexuality, gender identity and the like.

This is testament to the now wide-variety of sexual and gender identities now available. For example, bisexuality was often overlooked, as the expectation was you were gay or straight. Similarly, certainly in Western cultures, it was presumed you were either male or female. We now know this is an extreme over-simplification.

The only suggestible advice is to have a look around and see what identities are available to see if one fits you – but it needn’t be set in stone. It’s alright if you are, or if you aren’t. There are wide variety of resources and help-lines for Queer and Questioning people available, and it might help to utilise them or talk to somebody (a helpline, for example) about it, or even a trustworthy friend or family member.

If your journey leads you to discovering you are Queer in your sexuality or gender-identity, you may then want to come out if you feel it is the right time to do so. Nobody, queer or not, can tell you when that is.

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How do I know if I’m Queer?